18 January 2012

Hello, my dear family and friends,


Funny how one’s dearest relationships come to the forefront of one’s mind when times are difficult. I have been thinking of you continually. Ray tried to tell me everything each of you kids said this morning on Google+ I know that you are all supporting me by love and prayers. I’m trying to be faithful, but I keep worrying about the cost of this whole thing. If the church pays for most of it, then I feel so guilty because I want to be worth the cost of my mission.


The problem is my trigeminal neuralgia. I am currently in the Albany Regional Hospital, where I have been since Thursday, making now almost one full week. I will be discharged tomorrow so that we can go directly to the neurologist in Perth, and from there, who knows?


Thursday was probably the most painful day of my life so far. My throat became actually sore from screaming! Poor Ray. It kept him in a virtual nightmare all day. We made it to the ER at the hospital in the evening (for the second time that day), and finally got me calmed down with a large dose of morphine, and Ray got a few winks in the car. Then early in the morning they admitted me, and Ray went home for a few hours for some much needed rest. I finally slept too for a few hours, but when I awoke, the searing pains started right up again, and it has been a balancing act ever since, trying to find a good combination of all the new meds.


My head is in a whirl, my stomach also, and my bowels in total shock! I did want to lose some weight, but not like this! Every time I take a bite of anything I get a terrible electric shock in my right jaw, until I can spit out the offending morsel. Sometimes even talking triggers the shocks, or having any extra saliva in my mouth. or moving my tongue in a certain way. My tongue is “furry,” and you can imagine the taste in my mouth! (Not to mention my horrible breath!) If I try to brush my teeth or wash my mouth, I really pay for it, so they paint my tongue with something every six hours for thrush. I was on an IV drip to stay hydrated, but I have learned to drink lukewarm water on the left side of my mouth, and sometimes I can get down a vitamin drink or a cup of smooth soup. This morning, the warm water in the shower against my face was even a trigger for pain. Right now, I have asked for an extra dose of pain medication so that I can sit up in bed to write this. One benefit—I don’t feel pain in my back!


I am in a ward with three other patients, all with serious problems, often interrupting the nights. We all take our turns with the one toilet, and we all have vomit bags, etc.


In the mornings when the doctors arrive, you have to almost yell to each other to be heard, what with all the doctors, visitors, nurses, pharmacists, etc. coming and going, and patients moaning or explaining their problems! It sounds like a carnival or something! No whispering here. Except after about 9:00, when the lights go out.


What a scene I have painted for you! But it isn’t all bad. At this moment it is quiet in the ward. Most of us are dozing. I have a lovely big window next to my bed, and I can easily see the wind moving the large tree out there on the lawn. I can open the window if it is too hot.


When this flarup happened, and I was in the ER waiting for the doctor, they told me I couldn’t have any more meds for pain until the doctor authorized it, so since he wasn’t expected for another 2 hours, I was panicky, and Ray gave me another Priesthood blessing and told me to be calm and let the Lord help me. So, I tried to blot out everything else, and do what Alma did when he found himself in the depths of misery and"exquisite pain.  I kept thinking of Jesus and calling on Him to help me.  I knew He understood my pain, so I kept pleading in my mind, "Please Jesus, help me!"  I lay perfectly still for some time asking God to send the doctor, and suddenly, there he was! To me it was my own tiny miracle. The nurses had been heard moments before to say there were no doctors in the hospital.


There is something in this for me to learn. I have recently been praying that He would show His power by changing the desires of my heart. Maybe he is using this partly to change the desires of my mind (particularly for food!)I want so much to be able to stay and finish my mission. And I want to be healthy. Maybe for me the Lord must use drastic measures. “Please forgive me, Heavenly Father, for misusing my body. Help me take better care.”
So the trip is all arranged. The doctor has written us a script for morphine, in case I can’t make it to Perth on the meds they give me in the morning before I leave. We are taking a letter to the neurologist with a history of what has happened to me here, and then we’ll see what he says. I don’t think he will recommend the surgery here in Australia. Dr. Greenhouse explained that it takes a few days of being on these drugs to get them into my blood so that the episode burns itself out. Then I will most likely remain on these drugs to prevent more flareups in the future.

18 Jan. 2012  (from Elder Ashby)


Teresa has explained most of what happened in this difficult day at the hospital and away from it. I spent most of my day preparing for our trip to Perth with my fragile patient. It will be a temptation not to travel at the speed of 180 K’s an hour to get her there quick, but that would be breaking my commitment to keep the speed limit at all times, but on the other hand , since most people don’t know what 180 Kilometers an hour really equates to in miles, I might just try it while the Kangaroos are sleeping in the warm sun and the police might take pity on an LDS Missionary who hasn’t really gotten used to driving with Kilometers on the other side of the road yet?

Anyway, I started the day by working on my “to do” list and getting our clothes and other things ready for the trip. I looked forward to talking with our family on google connection and I was not disappointed. All of our kids were there except for Rodney, but Amy sent us a nice email that helped to make up for not seeing them. I didn’t realize how much I personally need to see my family and have that support on a regular basis. I wished that Teresa could have been with me.

Two memorable experiences are worth writing about in the course of the day:

I went to McDonalds for a burger and there was the cutest little girl in her high chair. She was probably about 2 years old, and I talked with her for a moment. When I went to leave I said “Bye Bye” and waved goodbye to her. She looked at me and smiled and said “Ta Ta”. That’s an expression that I have only heard from the older generation here. I smiled about it all the way to the hospital.

When I arrived here, I went to find out about our billing and I asked the lady if I could get a record of what the Doctor had done for Teresa during the past week. The lady looked at me and said, “You’ll have to go to the Ward Clerk to get that information” . I nearly burst out laughing when she told me. Teresa is in Ward “C “ at the hospital.